Last night I finally did it. I opened the bottom drawer of the cabinet in the front hall way. I pulled out a box that I had carefully stashed away and I opened it up.
This is the cast of Piney's foot that the vet techs made me. I made sure that they got his bad foot, the one that flared out and was always a pain in the ass to deal with.
I then went back and pulled out the little white bag, and sobbed when the smell hit me.
His forlock and tail. I forgot how red his forelock was and how scraggily his tail had been since I'd moved him to pasture 24/7.
I cried for a while as I held these things in my hands. I miss him.
I am trying to think of the good memories, but it hurts because we can't have more, so I jokingly thought that maybe I should think of the bad things, like when he kicked my leg, or when he smashed my head into the trailer, or how much money he cost me! But all of those things led to happy memories. After he kicked me I stood outside his stall with my fingers hanging inside his stall, and he started nuzzling them as if to say 'sorry'. I rode him a few minutes later and it was like he was still apologizing because he realzied that the ground poles in the arena were not infact snakes and were quite fun. It ended up being one of our best rides at the time.
He was my heart horse but he taught me as much as he could. When there was nothing else to teach me it was his time to leave. I am trying to realize that. He was a great intro into Thoroughbred ownership and he got me addicted to the breed. I saw the kind of heart and personality they can have. The fact that they love work, and they love their person. They can dominate in the show ring, and kick butt on the trail. They have a history and have seen things that most people never will and are decended from great legends. Thank you Piney for making me realize how awesome Thoroughbreds are. I can't wait to be found by another like you and have him teach me more valuable lessons.