emotions.

So I've been just a big ol bag of emotions since earlier this week. I'd been doing so good for so long I figured it was time for a melt down.
Earlier this week I had a mini freak out on my drive home worrying about a pine tree seedling that I planted last summer in our front yard. As soon as I pulled into the driveway I rushed out to where it was planted and saw what I had feared. It had been run over by the lawn mower. I started to cry. Over a stupid little tree.
I posted on Facebook that I had cried over a tree that was killed and of course everyone and their mothers started commenting saying that I was probably pregnant. Totally not the case FYI. Obviously no one knows me well enough to know that I cry over stupid stuff all the time. My mom commented that in our home town, some trees were planted along the walking path and some kids pulled one out. It made her cry so hard that she made my dad go replant it. I guess my mother and I are two of a kind, big ol tree huggers. Which is funny because I lived in a town with a huge paper mill that employed most of the people in town...BUT they do replant a couple trees for everyone that they cut down. So that makes it okay.
Anyways ever since I found my little tree had been mowed over I've been sad. It all stems back to the fact I planted those two little saplings that my mom gave me, as my "Piney Trees". Since he isn't buried at home I thought that maybe I could plant the trees and then when I looked at them I would think of him. I think that I was extra sad because I figured that I couldn't even keep his tree alive and then had all those feelings come rushing back of the day I stood at the vet and made the decision to put him down. I couldn't keep him alive and I couldn't keep his tree alive either
There is still one remaining sapling that is doing well. I went and put a big marker on it so that it wouldn't suffer a similar fate. I should have done that in the first place for both of them.
I feel so stupid for crying over a tree. Who does that?! Well other than my mother...