Tuesday, April 9, 2013

exhausted.

I am back at home again. I got home last night and was completely exhausted. I still am completely exhausted. I’m kind of walking around like a zombie.

The good news is that my little brother will be moving out of the ICU. When we went to visit him yesterday the nurses had him sitting up and he was watching The Price is Right. We were chatting with him and he is able to remember some things but he still has no idea what happened to lead up to him seizing. It’s terrifying to think what would have happened if he didn’t have home care come and check on him. He is still scared and confused though, as he should be. I can’t even imagine waking up in the ICU with tubes coming out from all over my body after losing TWO DAYS from being unconscious.  My mom asked him if he wanted to go home and he said no over and over again. We figure he is scared of my parents town house because there are so many stairs. My parents had been trying to find him an assisted living home but he wasn’t qualified for any that they had looked in to. Maybe now, since things have changed they will be able to find him something where he can receive care 24/7. The next few weeks will be challenging. The doctors are going to be running tests and try to find out if there is permanent damage. After seizing on and off for 48 hours I can’t imagine there isn’t any damage. More than likely he will be in the hospital for the next six weeks.

Multiple Sclerosis is a terrifying disease.  My brother is 28. He graduated with honors from University.  While not the case for all people with multiple sclerosis, his independence has been robbed. He can no longer live on his own (and hasn’t for a few years), and he can’t work. His balance is impaired and more than once he has fallen down and hurt himself. He’s been through chemo and he spends a big chunk of his week going in to see specialists at the hospital. It’s been heartbreaking to watch how it has progressed. And this last weekend was the absolute worst. It was worse than any of my nightmares. Doctors are still trying to figure out why he is the way he is. One of my best friends from high school has MS but you’d never know. She is an accountant and works for my dad. It just varies for everyone.

So thank you for those of you who said a prayer for my family. Although I’ve never met any of ya’ll It does mean a lot to me.

On a little side note that is actually horse related. I wanted to do some retail therapy on Monday and knew that there is a great tack shop in Winnipeg. My dad took me there and obviously this is not his type of store, but suprisingly enough, he knew exactly how to get there. I had told him that I needed a new helmet since mine is about 5 years old and it’s time to be replaced. He liked that I was wanting to protect my head, especially with my history of concussions.  I had my eye on the Tipperary Sportage 8500 for awhile, so I tried it on in the store, and I liked the fit. I also feel like it covers a bit more of my head than my old Troxel did. I then tried on the Tipperary Adult Ride-Lite. I have a couple protective vests but I was never sure if they fit right. So the girls at the store helped me fit this one and showed me how they were supposed to fit. I took it off and put it back on the hanger and my dad asked why I did that. I said I was going to think about it. He then told me that he would buy it for me because he'd rather me be safe when I ride. Dad's are always looking out for their little girls even when they are all grown up. If I knew he was going to pick up the tab I maybe would have gone for the more expensive vest...I'm kidding!! But he scooted me out of that store pretty quickly. He knows me too well...

5 comments:

  1. I hope things continue to look up for your brother. Sounds like there are still many hurdles to clear. Continued good wishes!

    I've been considering getting a vest for trail riding. Montana seems to be the land of rocks and it just seems like a wise thing to wear when you're out in the wilderness.

    Also looking at replacing my schooling helmet. I have two Troxels and I don't know if my head shape changed or what but neither seems to fit me anymore! I've heard great things about the Tipperary. Nice price, too!

    And that's one heck of a dad you have there! Think he can talk to my dad?! ;)

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    1. Thanks for the well wishes! I told him that people all over the world were wishing him well and he smiled. I really think he liked that.

      I feel like the Tipperary helmet is a step up from my Troxel. The price isn't too insane and like I said I feel that it covers more of my head. AND it's very ventilated so it won't get super hot IF we ever get summer!
      I read some reviews on the vest that I got. It doesn't offer much for tail bone protection, but people that ride in western saddles seem to find that it doesn't get in the way if they have a particularly high backed saddle.

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  2. I LOVE my Tipperary Sportage helmet. it's light and cool but I definitely feel like it covers more of my head (which I like). For some reason I have a weird shaped head and I have a hard time finding a helmet that fits comfortably and so far this one is a winner. Also, that vest is very similar to my Rodney Powell that I just got. I wore it for the first time last Saturday and it was very comfortable (I wasn't sure it would be).

    Your brother's story is so sad to hear about, but I appreciate you sharing during a really tough time. One of my best friend's father has MS but he is hardly effected by it. It's hard to see how for some it is life-altering and for others it's more moderate.

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    1. I read nothing but good things about the Tipperary Sportage which is another reason I bought it. The chin strap looks like it will take some getting used to though!
      The posts about my brother are certainly Debbie Downer posts, but I have so many thoughts floating around in my head that I feel like I am going to just go crazy. I should go back and take some lessons at my old barn. My riding instructor is a phychatrist so when I ride it sometimes feels likeI get a 2-4-1 deal where I can ride and talk about everything and she can fix my riding and head.

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  3. This is what happens when I lose the internet?! I'm so sorry to hear this, but I'm it seems like he's doing a little better. Hopefully things keep improving and you guys can find a great place where your brother feels safe and is taken care of.

    At least you got some great new stuff!

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