exhausted.

I am back at home again. I got home last night and was completely exhausted. I still am completely exhausted. I’m kind of walking around like a zombie.

The good news is that my little brother will be moving out of the ICU. When we went to visit him yesterday the nurses had him sitting up and he was watching The Price is Right. We were chatting with him and he is able to remember some things but he still has no idea what happened to lead up to him seizing. It’s terrifying to think what would have happened if he didn’t have home care come and check on him. He is still scared and confused though, as he should be. I can’t even imagine waking up in the ICU with tubes coming out from all over my body after losing TWO DAYS from being unconscious.  My mom asked him if he wanted to go home and he said no over and over again. We figure he is scared of my parents town house because there are so many stairs. My parents had been trying to find him an assisted living home but he wasn’t qualified for any that they had looked in to. Maybe now, since things have changed they will be able to find him something where he can receive care 24/7. The next few weeks will be challenging. The doctors are going to be running tests and try to find out if there is permanent damage. After seizing on and off for 48 hours I can’t imagine there isn’t any damage. More than likely he will be in the hospital for the next six weeks.

Multiple Sclerosis is a terrifying disease.  My brother is 28. He graduated with honors from University.  While not the case for all people with multiple sclerosis, his independence has been robbed. He can no longer live on his own (and hasn’t for a few years), and he can’t work. His balance is impaired and more than once he has fallen down and hurt himself. He’s been through chemo and he spends a big chunk of his week going in to see specialists at the hospital. It’s been heartbreaking to watch how it has progressed. And this last weekend was the absolute worst. It was worse than any of my nightmares. Doctors are still trying to figure out why he is the way he is. One of my best friends from high school has MS but you’d never know. She is an accountant and works for my dad. It just varies for everyone.

So thank you for those of you who said a prayer for my family. Although I’ve never met any of ya’ll It does mean a lot to me.

On a little side note that is actually horse related. I wanted to do some retail therapy on Monday and knew that there is a great tack shop in Winnipeg. My dad took me there and obviously this is not his type of store, but suprisingly enough, he knew exactly how to get there. I had told him that I needed a new helmet since mine is about 5 years old and it’s time to be replaced. He liked that I was wanting to protect my head, especially with my history of concussions.  I had my eye on the Tipperary Sportage 8500 for awhile, so I tried it on in the store, and I liked the fit. I also feel like it covers a bit more of my head than my old Troxel did. I then tried on the Tipperary Adult Ride-Lite. I have a couple protective vests but I was never sure if they fit right. So the girls at the store helped me fit this one and showed me how they were supposed to fit. I took it off and put it back on the hanger and my dad asked why I did that. I said I was going to think about it. He then told me that he would buy it for me because he'd rather me be safe when I ride. Dad's are always looking out for their little girls even when they are all grown up. If I knew he was going to pick up the tab I maybe would have gone for the more expensive vest...I'm kidding!! But he scooted me out of that store pretty quickly. He knows me too well...